Gratitude is Attitude: How Impermanence and Gratitude Can Help You Live a Happier and Richer Life
Gratitude is Attitude: How Impermanence and Gratitude Can Help You Live a Happier and Richer Life
At this time of the New Year when many of us have adopted new years resolutions which generally focus on what we want changed or different in our lives, I wanted to provide a balancing perspective: in addition to trying to bring about positive change in our life, embracing the gifts of what we DO HAVE is equally important to having a happy, productive and joyful life.
I recently read an article that one of the ways to enhance our life experience and reduce depression is to have a ‘gratitude’ practice. Simply put, this is to focus on and even bless what we are grateful for in our lives, instead of focusing on what is hard or wrong in our life. As a wise woman said, being rich isn’t about the amount of money or possessions we have, but rather finding happiness with what we do have. I recently listened to an audio recording of William Irvine titled “You are Already Living The Dream Life”, where he reflects that many of us are unhappy because we want a ‘life’ we don’t have - we want to be a sports hero, or famous, or wealthy – when we are not those things. But he continues to ask the listener to reflect on a different approach – What about you loved the life you have? Take a moment and think of the following: If you are simply in the United States right now, whether rich or poor, old or young, how many people in other parts of the world is YOUR life their dream life? How many people simply dream of living somewhere where they have basic freedoms, food and the ability to work, no matter what the job? In other words, the very life that you HAVE is the ‘dream life’ for millions across the globe. What if you made your life the DREAM LIFE? Another way of approaching all this, is to say that the ‘attitude’ we hold toward our life (and here I use the word attitude to refer to our ‘orientation’ toward our own life), is the key to whether we live our life in a relaxed and satisfied state, or whether we live in a dissatisfied state. If you want to be happy and live a ‘good life’ start finding the things you LOVE about the life you have, and not the things you think are lacking. I know, easier said than done. That’s why I want to talk about the ideas of gratitude and impermanence as possible paths to enriching our enjoyment of the life we have.
One of the gifts of my stage IV cancer diagnosis is the that I don’t need to be reminded that life is limited – indeed everyday I wake up and take a pill that is helping to keep me alive. And for me, living with this impermanence is a gift because EVERYTHING becomes so much more precious as it becomes self-evident that every day is a gift and a blessing. When you no longer take life itself for granted, then all the little things are miracles -- talking to my grown children, holding my wife, breathing the fresh air, walking outside among the trees, hearing the birds sing, etc. Like a newborn everything becomes more interesting when you let yourself be amazed by the wonder of simply being alive. With Stage IV cancer this level of amazement and gratitude for the little things, is flowing more naturally than it ever has in my life. This is one of the gifts of my cancer.
It turns out that you don’t have to wait for a terminal illness or other life-threatening situation to take advantage of this insight that a recognition of impermanence when paired with a gratitude practice offers a pathway to more happiness in your life. Entire schools of monks start there day after meditation with a brief sitting in which they reflect on the impermanence of their lives – (Impermanence meditation). And once grounded in impermanence, then gratitude is so much easier that it simply flows. Here is more information about an impermanence practice. Once grounded in impermanence, I invite you to then try a short gratitude practice – since life IS impermanent, what is it that you are grateful for this moment? Even sitting for 1 or 2 minutes in gratitude, is often enough to shift my orientation and set the day in a positive direction. Here is a helpful guide to starting a gratitude practice of your own.
Of course, these practices do not make one immune to the ups and downs of life. There are always things to work on, to fix and to try to improve. But when one’s overall attitude or orientation is toward ‘gratitude’ – being grateful for the gift of life and all the blessings we have – life is itself so much more peaceful, serene and rich. I invite you to establish a short impermanence and/or gratitude practice in your life and you be the judge for whether or not this works. Please drop me a line and let me know the results.