This Too Is The Path: Chapter I
I woke to light peeking through my tent, waking me into the gentle state where I was swimming up to the surface of my mind, like a diver coming up from the depths. Birds bustled about oblivious to the sleeping rhythms of the campground. The silence around me told me that the camp denizens were still asleep. I began to think about my day; today was the last day before I would arrive at Port McNeil (my destination) and a big smile filled my heart as I contemplated the past week and the many angels who had fed me, looked out for me, and helped me make this journey. It was as if I was a magnet aligned with the hidden forces that connect all things. My needs were taken care of by total strangers, in ways that I couldn’t have conjured up or even imagined. There was the meal served to me in the hostel and then the cashier and all the cooks disappeared (as if by magic) so there was no one to pay; there was the couple who pulled up to me in a car – in the middle of nowhere -as I sat with my bike looking at a vista of mountains and hills and offered me their remaining food from their recent camping trip; there was the store clerk who when giving me change for my $10 canadian note gave me a $20 canadian note and this wasn’t noticed until way down the road. There was the night of thunder and lightening where I hid under a park bench and rangers stopped by and led me to a better shelter for the night.
In a state of gratitude, I shut my eyes, and drifted into a quiet, almost meditative state, and repeated the intention I wrote down and have been saying every day this past week – “I am divinely supported by the universe and my needs are fully provided for such that I make it to my destination with ease.” I repeat this intention several times, and then simply relax and smile. The entire week it was if I had entered into an alternative universe where I could literally SEE energy and I experienced the world as a wind at my back pushing toward my goal. It felt like there was a sign on my forehead saying ‘lone cyclist without money needs help’. In one week I had more strangers approach me unsolicited than in all my previous bike tours combined. I never once asked for anything, yet everything was provided.
Now, however, I was jolted back to this day by the sounds of sizzling bacon in a campground nearby; soon everyone would be up and it was time for me to pack up and make my exit before engulfed in the hub hub of the campground. After quickly taking down my tent, packing my gear and loading the bike, I pushed the bike over to a small bench near the exit road and started thinking about the day. My food and money had finally dwindled to about $8 and I was hungry. I pulled out a small piece of paper and started thinking about what I could buy in the market as I had learned that to go into a market starving without a plan often resulted in misguided purchases that were high on sugar, low on sustenance. I wrote down apples, bananas, pasta, and maybe even tomato sauce, and some almonds or other nuts if I could afford them. I sat and studied the list—I was going to arrive for my kayak trip hungry but this should enable me to get through the day.
I put the list in my pocket, and started to push my bike out to the road; suddenly my eyes caught a vw van heading down the small campground road toward me; I wasn’t the only person trying to escape the camp ground early. The car stared to slow (even though I was on the side of the road and it could have passed me) and at that moment an energy filled my body and a knowingness entered my mind. I really don’t have words for this state as all of the spiritual reading I’ve done hasn’t quite describe my experience. Everything around me slowed down, my body filled with pure energy, and an absolute knowing about what was going to happen entered my consciousness as if dropped there by UPS without my help. I knew in that moment that the car was not only slowing to engage with me but that whoever was in that car was going to give me food and some of it was going to be what was on my list. The ‘gap’ between thought and manifestation had closed to nothing and the universe was providing for me exactly what I wanted and needed. All of this happened in maybe 5 seconds as the car slowed, and the driver rolled down her window.
I don’t remember all the details of that brief meeting with the lovely woman in the car. She shared that she saw me preparing to leave on my bike and felt drawn to offer me some food that she had left over from her camping. It was her last night of camping and she had extra food that she didn’t want to go to waste. I smiled and she reached across to the passenger seat and handed me a small brown bag with food. I waved as she then put the car in gear and headed off.
At this point my body was vibrating with a pure energy of abundance and part of me was afraid to look in the bag, not because I wouldn’t find what I knew was there, but that I WOULD find it. What did it mean to live in a world where there was no gap between intention and manifestation in the physical plane? What did it mean that I was so taken care of by mother universe that my needs were being provided by total strangers, and that they were coming toward me without me ever asking? I found a rock to sit on at the far end of the camp ground, looked out at the view, and slowly opened the bag. Tears streamed down my face as I removed the apple, the dry pasta and some other assorted things for the day. I have never felt so loved, cared for, and aligned with the universe. It was not the idea that we are connected by energy and that thought is the origination of all action, it was the experience of this.
One week later when the kayak trip was over, I stood on the shore of Puget Sound, ready to come home. I woke up that morning feeling very much back in my body, with all my day-to-day problems returned to my mind with the vengeance of jilted lovers now reclaiming me. Just as suddenly as the experience of energy and connection had entered me, it was now gone. My vain efforts to reexperience this energy were to no avail. I felt cast out of a magic kingdom and it would take the better part of my life to both refind it and discover that it was never lost. I was 28 years old.
Commentary
A state of grace where one takes a path and is supported so fully that there is never a real worry because everything, and I mean everything, is part of the path. Even when ‘bad things’ happened that week I was much more curious than worried because there was a knowing that in the broader scheme this was exactly what was supposed to happen and that I would somehow be cared for. Or put another way, there was nothing that could happen that wasn’t part of an unseen plan. When I was caught in a lightning storm and under a park bench getting drenched – before the cops came to help me – I was simply in awe of the storm. Wow, lightning. That’s loud!! Ugh, my butt is getting wet – this tarp isn’t so thick. This park bench is so sturdy that the wind cant budge it – beyond grateful! Hmmm, there is a car driving toward me and flashing lights on my ‘position’ – I wonder what will be next.
Before you think me crazy, please know that what I just described is not my normal way of handling challenge. I have often since this time wished I could manifest this calm, this curiosity even amidst these challenges. But alas, this often escapes me. My usual voice is more like – “oh shit, why me?” Why didn’t I stop earlier down the road before it rained? What awful thing is going to happen next? Are the police here to arrest me?
When I came back to earth from this week of blessing, it felt awful to be in a body and experiencing life on such a mundane, ordinary, and worrying/differentiated mindset full of fear, judgment, and effort. I tried repeating my intention repeatedly and yet it had no force. In fact I spent decades feeling as if I had been thrown out of a magic kingdom, pining to get back in but without success. At times I wished this week of magic had NEVER happened so I wouldn’t feel the stark contrast with my daily life. It would be almost 30 years before I realized that I had always been on this path, I just hadn’t realized it. Now that is magic of its own kind!
Questions (Your commentary)
· When in your life have you experienced a moment of the divine? What did it look like, feel like?
· What is the role of grace in your life? When have you felt supported by forces greater than yourself?
· How does magic show up in your life? And if it doesn’t, what would magic in your life look like, feel like, smell like, feel like?
· Where have you been helped in your life in a way that surprised you? What was it like to experience that type of support?
· Do you believe that you have a role in co-creating or even creating your destiny through your thoughts, prayers and intentions? If so, why? If not, why not? What is it you would create if you were in charge of creating your destiny? Why?
· Even if you don’t believe in divine and unknown forces, what would be the impact of knowing that you and your deeper goals were being supported by some unknown or unknowable force? How would that impact you?