This Too Is The Path: Chapter 6
Speaking of magic, there is nothing more magical and awesome then becoming a parent. For me that big day was July 17, 1997. My wife went into labor on a hot July day in Marin, and like most new parents we went into a hyper mode of running about. But the contractions stayed far enough apart that the hospital didn’t want us to come in. A few hours passed. And then a few more. My poor wife was very uncomfortable. By early evening, with the sun almost down, we took a walk around our small circular driveway. And something magical happened. A mother deer with a very small doe (maybe a few months) walked across the grassy area near our house, paused at the driveway and then walked very close to my wife with her little fawn following closely. This is much closer than a wild deer had ever approached us before or since and it felt like a sign. It was as if a mother from another dimension was saying – “It’s all going to work out and you will end up with a precious creature like this.” My wife and I paused and stood still. For at least 2 minutes the four of us just communed in silent connection. The deer and fawn then walked away and shortly thereafter the contractions moved close enough together that it was time to go to the hospital.
But our little creature wasn’t ready to come just yet. We spent another 12 hours in the hospital, my wife in prolonged contractions for much of this time, only to have an emergency C-section. But all concern and worry melted away as I held my daughter. From the moment I held her a loving light surrounded us, and I knew that somehow it would all be okay, and it was.
Like most new dad’s I had lots of fear and anxiety while at the same time I was filled with love and excitement. On the anxiety side of things, we had just bought a new house (first time home buyers) and like most in the Bay Area it seemed well beyond our reach, or at least caused lots of discomfort. Also, I was still straddling two jobs – the law job and teaching management seminars – and I was wondering how I would balance the demands of work with being a good parent.
The first days of parenthood were exhausting but memorable. We spent our time watching every single breath and gasp of our baby daughter, while simultaneously figuring out the many contraptions of baby life including that darned diaper genie. We spent hours adjusting the car seat until it was the perfect fit. Little sleep but lots of adrenaline and love. Amidst all of this activity, I simply ignored or forgot about the phone messages on my answering machine. And for you young folks, yes, I mean answering machine – this was still a pre-cell phone and pre-smart phone era. About two nights after returning from the hospital, I finally got around to listening to my answering machine. And several messages in, there it was. The message was from the owner of the company I did the most management training work for. She called to share the news that her lead trainer had gotten a new job, and asked if wanted to take on that work? Essentially this was an offer of full-time contract work doing work I absolutely loved!! It was too good to be true. This new baby had ushered in not only a new life, but a new career as well.
Days later, I gave notice to Tom, the head of the law firm. And in August of 1997 I filed what was to be my last law brief ever. I had now navigated leaving the practice of law on my own terms. My daughter’s birth had magically created an opening for a role that I had dreamed of for the entire year. I could now support my family doing contract work two to three days a week, which meant I could spend lots of time at home with my newborn. Bingo!! The universe had provided. Moving forward I could pursue two paths concurrently: the path of becoming a master trainer and facilitator; and the path of being a father.
Commentary
Not everyone has a child, but if we have a well lived life we have all given birth to something that demands all of us and is born of love– this could be a business, an artwork, a passion project, or yes, even a child.
Questions (your commentary)
If you are a parent…
o What do you simply love about being a parent?
o How has being a parent changed you? Your priorities? What tangible things are different?
o What have you given up or lost as a result of being a parent?
o What is an unexpected joy of being a parent? Unexpected challenge?
o What is one thing you can do right now (no matter how old your kids are – even out of the house) that would let your kids know you love them?
If you are not a parent...
o Make a list of the life project(s) that have required a ‘birthing’ of something totally new or different in your life? Study the list and choose one that feels as if it had the most impact on your life and answer the following questions:
o What have been the gifts of this project? Challenges?
o What have you sacrificed in birthing this?
o What is an unexpected joy or outcome of this project? Unexpected hurt or challenge?
o How have you grown, changed, morphed as a result of this project?